Don’t Breathe

For the first time in a while, I didn’t see a huge blockbuster!  I know, I was a bit surprised myself.  I take my niece to the movies when she lets me.  She has this new boyfriend who takes up most of her time now, but if I bug her enough, we go to the theater together.  So last night, we drove around because I got us super lost (oh wow, did I get us lost), and we went and saw Don’t Breathe.  If you haven’t heard about Don’t Breathe, a group of early 20-somethings break into the house of a blind man and try to rob him.  All hell breaks loose.

I am not shy about my love for horror movies.  I will watch just about anything horror related no matter how bad.  I have a strong affinity for April Fools Day, and Puppet Master is one of my favorite series ever.  It is pure gold.  But for me (I’m going old man in 3..2..1..) back in my day… I just prefer my horror to be slasher flicks.  Horror today just seems like suspense.  But that’s just personal choice I guess.  Growing up in the days of Nightmare, Friday the 13th, and Saw, I got used to a certain type of movie.  If you grew up these days, you would probably find those movies dumb as hell.  Especially the films later in those series.

Anyway, back to Don’t Breathe.  Here was my biggest problem with it.  (SEMI SPOILER AHEAD) Five minutes into the movie, I said, oh okay so this is the person who’s going to live.  And of course they did.  So there was no doubt the entire movie who was going to get away.  That wasn’t so great.  Ah, but the movie tries to throw you off!  I won’t give away too much for those who still intend to see it.  It did just come out.  But don’t be fooled.  Go with your gut and know, yeah, this is the one who makes it. (END OF SEMI SPOILER).

Most of the entire movie takes place inside the blind guys house.  I didn’t bother to learn any of the characters names.  I’m not looking them up.  They know he has a large sum of cash somewhere on the premises and they want to get their hands on it.  It’s their ticket out of town (isn’t it always).  Luckily, one of the burglars has a father who owns the security company who secures the house.  So they have a set of keys to the house.  Okay.  Does this happen somewhere?  Are there homeowners who gives a copy of their keys to their security company?  I’ve never heard of this.  Nor would I EVER do this.  Why?  FOR THIS VERY REASON.

Here’s the other thing.  They cover their mouths so he can’t hear them breathing, but they make a SHIT TON of noise throughout the house.  Creaky floors, breaking windows, alarm blaring before they can turn it off.  Dog barking.  It finally took a gunshot to a locked cellar door to wake the damn guy.  I sure wish I slept that heavily.  Everything wakes me up.  In a neighborhood that was supposedly completely abandoned, I don’t buy that he wouldn’t hear any of that.

The plot twist towards the end, however, was great.  The premise of the movie, along with this twist, were enough to keep me interested throughout.  And there were enough surprises to make me jump in my seat a handful of times.  I had read that people were upset with the ending of the movie.  I’m not really sure which part.  It’s not terrible.  It’s not amazing.  Certainly not worth getting ones undies in a bunch over.  Anyone who saw it and hated the ending is more than welcome to chime in.  The car?  The very end?  I’m confused why the end was so terrible.

I really wanted to love it.  LOVE IT.  I really want to love every horror movie.  I liked it.  I wish I hadn’t paid full price for it.  I also wish I hadn’t almost killed us both on the way there.  But that’s a different story.  All about my terrible driving.