Don’t Breathe

For the first time in a while, I didn’t see a huge blockbuster!  I know, I was a bit surprised myself.  I take my niece to the movies when she lets me.  She has this new boyfriend who takes up most of her time now, but if I bug her enough, we go to the theater together.  So last night, we drove around because I got us super lost (oh wow, did I get us lost), and we went and saw Don’t Breathe.  If you haven’t heard about Don’t Breathe, a group of early 20-somethings break into the house of a blind man and try to rob him.  All hell breaks loose.

I am not shy about my love for horror movies.  I will watch just about anything horror related no matter how bad.  I have a strong affinity for April Fools Day, and Puppet Master is one of my favorite series ever.  It is pure gold.  But for me (I’m going old man in 3..2..1..) back in my day… I just prefer my horror to be slasher flicks.  Horror today just seems like suspense.  But that’s just personal choice I guess.  Growing up in the days of Nightmare, Friday the 13th, and Saw, I got used to a certain type of movie.  If you grew up these days, you would probably find those movies dumb as hell.  Especially the films later in those series.

Anyway, back to Don’t Breathe.  Here was my biggest problem with it.  (SEMI SPOILER AHEAD) Five minutes into the movie, I said, oh okay so this is the person who’s going to live.  And of course they did.  So there was no doubt the entire movie who was going to get away.  That wasn’t so great.  Ah, but the movie tries to throw you off!  I won’t give away too much for those who still intend to see it.  It did just come out.  But don’t be fooled.  Go with your gut and know, yeah, this is the one who makes it. (END OF SEMI SPOILER).

Most of the entire movie takes place inside the blind guys house.  I didn’t bother to learn any of the characters names.  I’m not looking them up.  They know he has a large sum of cash somewhere on the premises and they want to get their hands on it.  It’s their ticket out of town (isn’t it always).  Luckily, one of the burglars has a father who owns the security company who secures the house.  So they have a set of keys to the house.  Okay.  Does this happen somewhere?  Are there homeowners who gives a copy of their keys to their security company?  I’ve never heard of this.  Nor would I EVER do this.  Why?  FOR THIS VERY REASON.

Here’s the other thing.  They cover their mouths so he can’t hear them breathing, but they make a SHIT TON of noise throughout the house.  Creaky floors, breaking windows, alarm blaring before they can turn it off.  Dog barking.  It finally took a gunshot to a locked cellar door to wake the damn guy.  I sure wish I slept that heavily.  Everything wakes me up.  In a neighborhood that was supposedly completely abandoned, I don’t buy that he wouldn’t hear any of that.

The plot twist towards the end, however, was great.  The premise of the movie, along with this twist, were enough to keep me interested throughout.  And there were enough surprises to make me jump in my seat a handful of times.  I had read that people were upset with the ending of the movie.  I’m not really sure which part.  It’s not terrible.  It’s not amazing.  Certainly not worth getting ones undies in a bunch over.  Anyone who saw it and hated the ending is more than welcome to chime in.  The car?  The very end?  I’m confused why the end was so terrible.

I really wanted to love it.  LOVE IT.  I really want to love every horror movie.  I liked it.  I wish I hadn’t paid full price for it.  I also wish I hadn’t almost killed us both on the way there.  But that’s a different story.  All about my terrible driving.

Batman

What do you write about during the summer when you don’t really do a whole lot?  The past 6 weeks for example, have been full of kid swim lessons, a wedding of people you’ve never heard of, a bachelor party for which I will not write about… and… that’s about it.  The previous six weeks of summer… not a whole lot happened there either.

I saw Captain America: Civil War.  It was good.  What do you want me to say?  It was pretty much what the previews showed.  If you saw the previews, you saw 90% of the important parts of the movie.  The end was a little bit different than I expected, but I had some problems with the ending.  Like what happens if Iron Man doesn’t go after Captain America and The Winter Soldier?  The whole premise of the movie hinges on that one event happening.  If it doesn’t?  Then they just sit around staring at each other.  Super fun movie.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you didn’t see the movie.  If you saw the movie, you get it.

So over the past few days, I saw two different Batman movies.  I finally saw Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice.  I also so Batman: The Killing Joke.  I’m not sure which was more surprising.  That I didn’t hate BVS as much as I thought I would, or that I didn’t like TKJ as much as I thought I would.

I know I am way behind the curve here on Batman V. Superman.  But it just looked terrible.  So I waited till it was on DVD to watch it.  I couldn’t justify spending ticket prices on this movie.  It wasn’t as bad as I assumed it would be.  It’s still not good.  The film is two and a half damn hours.  The first hour or so is just them standing around meeting each other.  LET’S GO!!!  I get it, gotta set up the trinity and all that.  But geezus, row across lake point!!  Move it along!  The worst part of the movie was the casting of Jesse Eisenberg.  I am not a huge fan to start with, but I would like to see who didn’t get the role.  A dog?  Phil?  There had to be someone better.  And maybe he will be better in Justice League.  Who knows.  But he was dreadful.

The thing I find most interesting about BVS happened in the aftermath of the film.  It was such a critical disaster that Warner Bros. decided to move people around on Justice League.  Ben Affleck is now an executive producer.  The obvious choice to make is the one that they refuse to actually make.  The reason BVS was so terrible, and the reason Justice League is going to suck beyond belief, is Zack Snyder.  The director needs to go.  But WB probably has too much money invested in him to replace him at this point.  Chicken sh*ts.  Snyder ruined this movie.  If WB and DC wonder why they are so far behind Marvel in their cinematic universe, they need to look no further than Snyder.

I was so excited to see The Killing Joke.  And it was such a letdown.  The second half of the movie is great.  It is very true to the graphic novel on which it is based.  I didn’t know what to expect, really.  I had heard rumors about a scene between Batman and Batgirl.  The internet went ape sh*t.  Apparently people have a huge problem with the two of them… being intimate.  I get that there is a huge age difference, and she was involved with Robin at one point in history.  But whatever, it didn’t bother me that much.  It was the aftermath that bugged me.  They turned her into this whiny, damsel in distress character that just wasn’t Batgirl for me.  To be fair, I haven’t read a lot of Batgirl books, so I am not as familiar with her history as others, and maybe this is true to her.  It just didn’t work for me.  Once they switched to the Batman/Joker dynamic, the movie got a lot better.  If you’re a fan of this particular book, it is worth checking out.  Just don’t have high expectations.

Tie Dye

I am a stay at home dad.  I have probably mentioned that 1,000 times.  But with summer coming up, I decided I was going to need some super fun ideas to keep the girls entertained.  I figured we would give tie dying a try!!

I’m totally super smart when it comes to tie dying.  I watched a YouTube video, I bought a whole kit, read the instruction manual…I got this.  We decided to go with the spiral technique.  It looks nice, and apparently is pretty easy.  I had a really hard time getting the t-shirts bundled.  My enormous man hands couldn’t wrap the tiny girls shirts as easily as I had anticipated.  But I got it!!

It turns out, as with most crafts that I try to do, it’s 90% prep and clean up, 10% doing it.  It took a while to get the dye mixed with the water, get my tarp out, get everyone in clothes that could get destroyed, all of it.  And about five minutes actually coloring shirts.

But we got it done.  That’s the important thing.  The girls had a blast picking their own colors and spraying dye everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  Luckily, I had my tarp.  My daughters hands will be stained for days.  But again, I don’t care.  They were so excited.  The instructions said to wait 24 hours to undo the rubber bands from the shirts.  Every hour or so, they would ask if it were time to wear their shirts.  I have to admit, I really wanted to see them too.  To see if I ruined them, or got them right.

Shirts Dyed

Shirts Dyed

Here we go!  Taking the bundles off.  They will love them no matter what, but I’m gonna be pissed if I screwed this up.  I am a bit of a perfectionist with stuff like this and I want to make sure it’s right.  Gotta see what happens.

Alright so… I’n not… THRILLED.  I guess for our first time, it could have been a lot worse.  I was right the girls love them and can’t wait to wear them.  They’re gonna want to do this again, so I need to find a different patter that I can master.  Apparently tie dying takes more than one attempt to get right.

 

A love letter

I love you. I openly admit it.  You have been such a huge part of my life, I can’t imagine my world without you. And now, just as quickly as you came into my life, you’re gone. Arco Arena is no more.

I remember my first game at what was affectionately known as “The Old Barn.”  December 29, 1992. My cousin and his then girlfriend took me on the way to San Jose where I spent the weekend with my aunt and uncle. Over 20 years have past since that day, and the memory of a 14 year old boy has now become a bit hazy. But I remember loving it. I loved every second I was there.

I always say Sacramento is a city unlike any other. And I am proud to be from here. Not like Phil who went to Los Angeles for college. Ick.  And I am proud of Arco Arena (I feel bad because technically it’s Sleep Train Arena, but I’m not calling it that).  Wooden floors, seats that don’t match and were falling apart. Leaky roof. All of it.

And I was there. I remember going to a game in college all by myself and spending waaay to much just to sit 4 rows behind Kevin Garnett.

When the Kings won game 3 against Utah in the playoffs in 1999, I was there.  My friend Ryan drove up from San Luis Obispo (about 4-5 hours) just for the game. Along with our friends Turner and another Ryan, we screamed as the Kings won. The game was on TNT, and we thought it was TBS.  We took a sign letting the world know that we thought Jazz forward “Thurl Bailey Sucks.” Because the letters matched and we were convinced that would get us on TV.  Oops.  But it didn’t matter because we were there.  I was there for game 4 too, but John Stockton ruined that one.

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Hi five line

Last season, I squeezed into a middle school to join the high five line to get onto the court!  Also, I am squeezed into a medium t-shit.  On top of my jersey, and undershirt.  And t-shirt that was the give away that night.  Soo it was snug.  If you look at my profile picture on wordpress, I met my dream girl, Harley Quinn at Arco one night.

I saw Peja Stojakovic tie a game that was TECHNICALLY after the buzzer.  But hey it counted.  Check out Olden Polynice in the background.  A former King who had no problem letting us know what he thought of the constant “O.P. SUCKS!!  O.P. SUCKS” chants that we berated him with the entire game.

IMG_3071My buddy Bill and I still talk about the first game Jon Barry played back in Arco after being traded to the Pistons. He got a standing ovation and patted his heart as he entered the game.  We were there. Our other favorite moment was the night we were trying to get standing room only tickets and a cop walks up to us and asks if we are looking for tickets. Uh… Not from a cop!!  But he was simply letting us know the box office had tickets available. But it’s still a great story to us.

I saw Chris Webber get his jersey retired. Phil and I were there for Opening Night 2013 after the team was blocked from being sold to Seattle.

Phil, Eric and Bill

Phil, Eric and Bill Opening Night 2013

I got to sit in half a dozen luxury boxes and even got to shoot a half court shot to win a truck one night.  I hit the rim and until the very end, I thought I’d made it.  After you miss, they let you shoot a three point shot for $300 towards that new truck. I made the shot (because, please. I’m awesome), but I liked my car, so that was $300 wasted.

The view from an Arco luxury box

The view from an Arco luxury box

I have pins and t-shirts from at least 10 opening nights. I saw Pearl Jam, Toby Keith, and Jim Rome inside those walls.  My oldest daughter saw her first game at Arco. And both my daughters saw two Disney on Ice shows.

Saturday night was an amazing way to close the building.  So many players I cheered for walked through the doors one final time. And to top it off, a huge win. It was perfect. I couldn’t have picked a better way to say goodbye. For all the wins, for all the losses. For the ones I was there for and the ones I wasn’t. The joys and the heartbreak, there is no place like Arco Arena. IMG_4026

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You don’t think the players care about moving out the worst arena in the NBA?  In this town they do.  Because it’s Sacramento.  We are different.  If you’re not from here, you wouldn’t understand.

The Golden 1 Center will open later this year. And it may have wi-fi, seats that work, toilets that flush, and a locker room that’s actually big enough for a basketball team, but it’s just a building. It’s not home.

Arco is where we were Playing to Win. It’s where HERE WE STAY was born. And PROUD began.  It may be a sh*thole, but it was our sh*thole. I will never forget you. And I love you.  IMG_4031

Rouge One

So not a lot has happened here in the last month.  Same same everyday.  There hasn’t been much to write about for me.  I was going to write about the new Powerpuff Girls series.  Which I am thrilled about by the way.  I love The Powerpuff Girls.  Loved them when they were on in the late 90s, love ’em now.  But what is there to say?  I am pissed that they didn’t use the original voice actresses.  And so far, they seem more grown up than I remember.  But that’s about it.  Other than that, I really dig it.  I made my daughters watch it.  They are 3 and 5 so maybe it’s not quite appropriate for them, but they love it to.  They have given up on their other favorite shows, and only want to watch The Powerpuff Girls.  So, points for dad.

Today was the release of the Rogue One trailer, though.  It was pretty good.  But it didn’t excite me the way Episode VII did.  Or the way I am excited for Episode VIII.  Here is the conversation Phil and I had about it earlier today:

Phil: So…thoughts on the Rogue One trailer?

Eric: I mean. Its still a star wars movie I GUESS. It might be nice to see a story that’s not involved directly with the main characters and it looks good. But after a couple viewings, its fine. You?

Phil: Yeah. It looked ok. Kinda like the concept for the story, and it’s a big universe; there are plenty more stories to tell besides ones involving people names Skywalker or Solo.  The dialogue was kinda lame tho. “This is a rebellion, right? I rebel.” Eye roll

Eric: Hahahaha well they gotta let u know its star wars!!

Phil: Star Wars does = cheesy dialogue.  We’ll see. I like the idea of a standalone sw film, so hopefully they get it right

Eric: I think it’ll grow on me.  I watched star wars rebels for a season and a half (i know that’s not a movie) and that got old so we will see.

Phil: Disney is gonna smother us in Star Wars stuff till we die. Get ready for it. The Saturation Awakens.

Eric: Seriously.  That’s what I’m afraid of more than anything.  The thought that i had was: am i gonna buy this?  Am i gonna need a whole separate cabinet just for star wars DVDs that are coming out?!

Phil: You already know the answer: yes and yes

Eric: Maybe not!!  U don’t know!!  Man people r pissed its a woman lead.

Phil: Yeah, I don’t get the rage

Eric: I don’t either. I thought Daisy Ridley was awesome.

Phil: Misplaced anger at SJWs. Backlash from the Hunger Games, Divergent movies. Who knows.

End of conversation.  Phil had to go back to work, or a soccer game, or whatever he does in the middle of the day.  I was grocery shopping for those who are curious.  The rage at another female lead confuses me.  Who cares if it’s a woman or a male main character?  I guess it’s just guys who can’t handle strong female characters?  I’ve never gone into a movie and thought “you know what this movie needs?  More dudes.”  But whatever.  There are plenty of things in the next 9 months to nit pick about with this new movie.  THAT won’t be anything I care about.  Good to see Mon Mothma back in the universe though!!

Survivor

Living in Sacramento is a unique experience.  It’s very much a college atmosphere when it comes to our Kings.  Even though the greater Sacramento area is spread out over many miles, everyone loves the Kings.  So when one of our former beloved players was announced as a member of this seasons cast of Survivor, I was super excited!  And on top of it, that player was Scot Pollard.  The biggest oddball to ever play in Arco.  I still call it Arco.  Maybe Mad Max, but Scot is up there.

I have never seen an episode of Survivor.  I didn’t realize there have been like 30 seasons of the show.  But I haven’t seen any of them.  Tell me there’s gonna be a King on it though, and I am so in.  So I settle in, and… well, I cannot believe this show has been on the air so long.  NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!!  Five minutes into the first episode they are planning alliances.  How?!  You don’t even know these people!   I’m sure it wasn’t five minutes for them, probably a full day.  But still.  How the hell can you make judgements like that so quickly?

I sat through that entire episode.  It was dreadful.  Luckily Scot made it through.  I couldn’t decide if I wanted Scot to win, or get eliminated so I could stop watching.  Episode two was even worse.  I started fast forwarding.  Once the challenge was over, I fast forwarded to see who was eliminated.  The challenge was over at minute 36 of the show.  THE LAST 24 MINUTES OF THE SHOW WERE TALKING AROUND A CAMPFIRE!!  I skipped it all and felt like I missed nothing.

My buddy Nez came over a few nights later to watch the Kings get their a**es handed to them yet again, and I told him I started watching.  He is a huge fan.  He thought I was going to say I loved it and was going to go back and watch the other seasons.  He couldn’t believe how much I hate this show.  I only watch one reality show, The Amazing Race (more on that trainwreck next week, I think).  After seeing this, there is no reason to watch any others.

This week was episode three.  I deleted the recording.  I just can’t do it.  I’ll ask my buddy after it’s over who won.  Although I won’t know who it is, unless it’s Pollard.  I just looked to see who was eliminated this week, and I have no idea who that person is.  And I’m not sad about that at all.

The Pizza Place

Okay. Deep breaths. I need to sit down. I have so much to do today. Can’t concentrate. I might pass out.

Getting dressed this morning, I decided to throw on my Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place t-shirt. It’s one of my favorites. But it always reminds me of how sad I am that it’ll never be on DVD (just like season 2 of Ned and Stacey).  

 

My shirt


Ick, that’s the lumpiest selfie ever.  I should have taken the picture of the shirt in the closet.

I mentioned in my Deadpool post how I have every episode of Two Guys recorded on VHS in a box in my garage. It’s hard to imagine when I would ever break those out and watch them. But there was no way in hell I was getting rid of them.

Then this morning happened. The bright light of justice shone down on me in the form of an email. An email from an angel named Mike. Okay he’s not so much an angel as this guy I know with questionable hygiene and an enormous head.  Like seriously big.  He sends me this email with a link.  Alright, let’s check this out, what could it be?

https://www.shoutfactory.com/tv/comedy/two-guys-and-a-girl-the-complete-series

I nearly fainted.  I am not the type of guy who cares about stuff.  I don’t need things.  The occasional CD, my dumb t-shirts, I’m good.  But this I need.  I NEED IT.  It completes me.