At the theaters

I know, I know.  I’ve been away forever.   And I have.  It’s part lazy, part sick.  Being a stay at home dad of two children puts me in contact with a lot of other children, so I am constantly sick.  Which is odd because I don’t believe in getting sick.  Mind over matter and all that.  Before my daughter was born in 2010, the previous time I remember getting sick was 2004.  When my appendix ruptured.  It’s hard to ignore being sick when your body is killing you from the inside.  I’m still pretty sick today, but I saw this article today that I had some thoughts about.

Apparently, 2014 was the year with the lowest number of tickets sold to the movie theater since 1995.  20 freaking years!  I didn’t read the whole article because I didn’t want it to sway my opinion or make points that I couldn’t claim as my own.

First of all, for me, I just think that there aren’t enough movies that are worth going to the theater to see anymore.  What movie did you HAVE to see in the theater?  My wife insisted on seeing Mockingjay.  I haven’t seen it yet.  So I don’t know if it was worth it.  The movie going public has finally realized that movies today suck.  (Damn, I sounded really old when I wrote that.  Get off my lawn.)  We won’t stand for sequels and crappy remakes any longer!  REVOLUTION!!  I went to see five movies in the theater this year.  Which, now that I write it is super depressing.  I used to go all the freaking time.  I love love love being at the movies.  I saw RoboCop, A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neighbors, Guardians of the Galaxy, and As Above/So Below.   And now that I realize I haven’t been since August, I have to go…like immediately.  Maybe I can go next week.  Back to my point.  All those movies I saw, not one did I HAVE to see.  All of them was right before they were going out of the theater.   I also saw Back to the Future on a limited engagement.  That was worth the extra cost because it is one of my top 10 favorite movies.  Speaking of cost, that leads me to my second point.

It is way too expensive to see a movie.  Not one of the movies I saw were for full price.  I saw all of them on a Tuesday, which around here is $5.  Best deal in town.  Unless you go to the theater in the mall.  Then its $3.50.  Which is great, but the floors are crazy sticky.  You get what you pay for, I guess.  There’s no good reason to pay $10.50 for a movie.  $10 F**KING 50.  Pay for someone else.  Get popcorn and a soda.  Go ahead.  I dare you.

Which brings me to my last and most important point.  I think theaters are going through the same problem that the NFL is going through right now.  With the size of TV’s right now, and the picture quality, it’s hard to beat the in home experience.  I am a die-hard Oakland Raider fan… I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!  I haven’t been to a game in three years.  I have no desire to go to a game.  And it has nothing to do with the fact that the team is not the best.  Hey they are getting better!!  Why drive two hours, pay for parking, and then pay for a $10 beer when I can drink beer I prefer (and already paid for) on my couch?  Also, commercial breaks are way worse at the game than on TV.  At least at home I can switch back to the RedZone channel and see how my beloved fantasy players are doing.  Terribly, by the way, thank you for asking.  It’s the same thing with movies.  With big screen TV’s and surround sound, and lounging on the couch, there’s no reason to go to the theater.  With someone inappropriately sitting next to me when there are seats open just down the row.  Seriously, move over!  And why the hell do you have to sit in front of me!?!  MOVE!!!

Do I think next year will be better?  Of course it will.  2015 is going to be a monster year at the theaters.  Just off the top of my head, people are going to fall all over themselves for Avengers: Age of Ultron, Insurgent, Fifty Shades of Gray, Jurassic World and Mockingjay Part 2.  What am I excited about?  DECEMBER 18, 2015!!!  THE FORCE AWAKENS.  I was at midnight shows for all three prequels and I will be at a midnight show for Star Wars.  Wearing one of my…numerous Star Wars shirts.  I cannot recommend this site enough.  You’re surprised I’m a Star Wars geek?  HELLO?!  We’ve discussed this!!!


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